From "Who Wants to Be a Militant" to "Fatah Knows Best," the new shows are sure to be a hit. Or else!

DOAH, QATAR - Arab super station Al Jazeera proudly announced it will begin producing new and updated versions of currently cancelled former US shows. This fall's revival will see some of America's most beloved television characters resurrected under Sharia Law.
Al Jazeera's CEO Sheikh Hamad "The Chairman" bin Thamer Al Thani unveiled his station's new line-up beginning with the newly restructured 'Studio 60 on the Gaza Strip'. While the stations's execs were beaming with pride, Qatari critics were quick to call the Sheikh's judgement into question by broadcasting shows that seemingly glorified American culture and decadence.
Quickly changing gears to accommodate the mood in the room, he presented two new reality programs -- 'Who Wants to Be a Militant?' and 'Fatah Knows Best'.
But not before allowing time for his doctor proscribed sedatives to take effect. The Sheikh subsequently went on a rabid attack screaming, "I don't have to remind everyone here that there is still plenty of roo